Weird Christmas Gift Ideas From Me To You

I’m not going to apologize for only posting three times this month because I’ve been super busy online, and It’s apparent that 41 comments related to blogging naked kept the traffic flowing for the last couple of weeks – which is awesome.  While we’re on the topic of blogging naked, the whole concept sparked an ingenious idea for my very first e-book, which I’m not sure when I will be launching, but I can guarantee you that it will be insanely easy to sell as an affiliate and suck traffic from all the gurus boring ass products they keep putting out.  I’ll keep you guys posted.  Oh yeah, the domain name is – and I will leave you with that to marinate on!

Back to the post…

It’s clearly no surprise that I’m a strange dude with an even stranger sense of humor (you think I’m weird, wait till Veronica has more time to post), and I’ve always had a thing for giving unique gifts on birthdays and during the holiday season.  I’m the same way with blogging and my online business – being different and thinking outside the box will ensure you leave a lasting impression, and prevent your “gifts” from getting buried in the closet come January.

Over the last few days I’ve managed to bang my foot on a bunch of pimp daddy Christmas gifts available online, and my list is slowly coming together.  I’m even considering getting some of you knuckle-head ninjas a gift as a token of our appreciation!  If you don’t get anything it’s not because we don’t love you and want to have your children, it’s simply because we blew what little Christmas money we had and hired too many Peruvian albino midgets for the Veronica And Elijah’s Circus of Death performace at the local community centre.  So here’s a few Christmas gift ideas that stood out during my hunt and I thought I would share a few of these awesome items with you guys and gals.

Inflatable FruitcakeInflatable Fruitcake – Take part in a new family tradition with this rendition of a classic unwanted Christmas gift.  It’s no mystery that people hate store bought fruitcake, and instead of burdening your loved ones with the task of discarding another rock hard fruitcake – why not show them you care with this one of a kind fruitcake.  No crumbs and always fresh!

Switchblade Mustache CombSwitchblade Mustache Comb – Have a family member that has been trying to grow a lip rug for the holiday season?  Surprise them with this sleek and stylish switchblade mustache comb.  As a young man it’s very important that your first mustache is groomed and healthy, so give them the gift of instant mustache care in this rebel-inspired comb.

Bacon WalletBacon Wallet – What better way to support your loved ones and blogging buddies by helping them bring the bacon home with this bacon wallet. This unique and mouth-watering wallet is covered with images of freshly cut bacon. There’s plenty of room for all your adult video store memberships and Walmart gift cards. Mmmmm… Bacon!

Ninja AttackNinja Attack – It’s vital for kids to be prepared for a potential attack by fiends and foes, so be sure to arm them with this high tech ninja attack system. It has been said that real ninjas are the greatest assassins of all time and feel confident in giving the gift of ninjutsu madness. Pull the trigger and launch an stealth attack at a moments notice.

Squirrel UnderpantsSquirrel Underpants – It can be very disturbing with these naked squirrels running around your property during the holiday season, so why not show goodwill towards your animal friends while protecting your child’s eyes from over-zealous critters? These 100% cotton mini-briefs will solve your squirrel-streaking holiday problems.



Success Starts With Your Socks

Funny Spongebob SocksThis past Saturday I got together with some friends to celebrate the 28th birthday of my friend Alistair Hill, and if you remember my post on finding local niche markets to dominate, Alistair is definitely a dude who shows great interest in outside-the-box business models – and more recently this whole Internet marketing madness I’ve been engulfed in.  I have a great circle of boys who all support each other and for the most part, are all successful in their own way.  As much as it may seem to others that we’re a bunch of drunken hooligans when we’re out on the town, genius happens quite frequently at these gatherings and Saturday was no different.

For Al’s birthday we decided to go bar hopping, or what some may refer to as a pub crawl, with more soldiers joining the brigade as the night progressed.  Stop number two on the night was a quaint little establishment known as Sharkey’s;  A contemporary, low-lit gastro pub with a menu and wait staff that were equally attractive.  Joining our original party of three was a handful of other friends who stumbled in from various locations throughout the city, and for the topic of this blog I will be introducing you to our good friend Vic.

Vic is one of those unique, eclectic type of cats that are completely unassuming – especially if you were to see him walking down the street.  He’s currently on his way to becoming a full fledged Architect within the next 24 months and has an insane knowledge of music culture.  Combine this with a pretty intense shoe fetish and the ability to inflict unforgettable moments in conversation, and you’ll begin to have a brief understanding of why we love it when Vic comes out to play!

The moment of truth…

After two or three rounds of drinks, about seven rounds into the night, the discussion was on the topic of prostitution and goat cheese – feel free to be creative and figure that one out.  Vic jumped in changing the direction a little by asking us all a question, “Do you know what sets apart the upper class of society from regular guys like us?”  Somehow I knew there was undeniable substance behind Vic’s train of thought as he began to tell us about a professor at school, and how he’s recently noticed that he never wears the same pair of socks twice.  Where normal guys go to Wal-Mart and grab the 24 pairs for $13, upper class dudes have a more refined taste in foot comfort and tend to pay upwards of $97 for a 12 pairs of Gold Toe Windsor wool socks which they will never wear twice in the same week, or month for that matter.  The moment of truth at the table hit pretty hard as Vic concluded that his professors level of success is because, and I quote:

“His sock game is tight!”

You heard right!  His sock game is tight, and having a tight sock game is vital to success in today’s business world.  Now let’s think about this for a minute.  Will buying $97 socks improve your chances of running a profitable business online?  Probably not.  If anything, spending that much money on socks will guarantee your future bankruptcy status and ensure that your wallet is forever empty.  Symbolically speaking, this particular individual is one who believes in the “dress for success” theory and your only as good as you look because we all know in the real world, first impressions are everything.

Maybe it’s the attention and care for minute detail, or the strive for perfection that has set the threshold of sock quality so high?  I think it would be safe to say that someone who cares that much about their feet would naturally expect supreme quality from their business and personal life, and those are the type of people you would want to be surrounded by when you’re first starting out.  I’m sure you’re getting my drift, or at least I hope you are!

You can’t expect to take care of business if you don’t take care of yourself.  Treat yourself to a nice dinner every now and then, or go out and buy that golf club that you’ve had your eye on for the last few months.  Don’t be stupid and put yourself into more debt, but at the same time don’t fixate on spending $60 that you hypothetically “don’t have” because if you really stop to think about it, when will you really “have” the money to spend?  Never.  Sacrifice is absolutely necessary to budget and create surplus, but don’t cheat yourself completely – live your life to the fullest, and surround yourself by things that make you happy.  Make sure your “sock game is tight” and everything else will fall into place.

According to Vic.



Friday Update With Veronica

Hi all,

Just thought I’d pop in and say “Hello” . . . It’s been a while, but I’m still around.  I’ve been working hard and trying to stay on top of things.

Elijah has been encouraging me to do a video post, which to be honest makes me nervous, (I don’t like the sound of my own voice) so I thought I’d give it a shot when he wasn’t home and couldn’t make me laugh. 🙂

Stay classy,


Elijah Sings The Blues

A short post here to end off a pretty crazy, but productive week.  I really don’t feel like talking about Internet Marketing or the newest micro-blogging network, but I did wake up today feeling music in the air – which is a feeling I’m beginning to miss.  I decided that I would do something completely out of the ordinary for this type of site/community and play a song for you guys.

The track is called “Enough” and I wrote it 3 or 4 years ago.  I’ve also included, for you music heads out there, the mp3 download of the track – which is mixed and mastered with drums and all (by myself of course).  I really hope you guys enjoy it as it’s one of my favorite songs.

Download “Enough”

Have a great weekend, and feel free to distribute the download to whomever you’d like.



Friday Night Smack Talk – Special Guest

Damn.  I just spent an hour trying to get a friggin video site that works.  I don’t know if it was my area and the bandwidth was just flooded, but I couldn’t get anything working.  Finally came through after the 18th time attempting to upload.  I wanted to do a little video update for you guys since it’s been a while and there have been some new faces showing up on the comments.  Mad link love, mad updates with the blogosphere and all the craziness that’s been going on – I also have a special guest at the end, someone who I know all you guys have been wanting to see!  Is it Veronica?  No, she fell asleep on the couch as I was recording this.  Maybe I’ll film myself putting backing powder in her hair and post that up tomorrow.. I guess you’ll have to wait and see.  Have a great weekend everyone!



25 Things About Elijah That You Might Not Know

During my weekly webinars with Roy Montero and the iWomen gang, we’ve been discussing ways to utilize a “things you don’t know about me” page to get more personal with your readers, subscribers and people on your list.  I’ve also been following the video skills of my friend Joe – and how he woos his audience with style and grace every single day using the power of video (much thanks on hooking me up with the mogul ninja stance).

Taking all of this into consideration, I’ve realized that even though I have done some video for this site – I haven’t really been myself.  I’m now feeling an urge to let loose and show you guys who I really am in hopes that it will improve our relationship, and give you more of an insight into the mind of Elijah, and what I’m all about.  The video is about 15 minutes long – but I promise if you watch the entire thing you won’t be disappointed.

I’d love to know a couple things about you guys – feel free to share anything you’d like.