Veronica and I are at a point in our life together where things aren’t all peaches and cream – not pertaining to our relationship, which is the strength that drives me, but in terms of financial stability. Since I lost my job back in May and made the decision that I would do whatever it takes to be making enough income online to not have to visit my old friend, the cubicle, ever again – it’s been an interesting road. On a personal level, I haven’t paid my student loan or credit card bill in over 3 months, by choice, and that’s not what bothers me because I’m only 27 and credit can be repaired. On the flip side, Veronica has been working away doing her 40 hour work week and developing an increased sense of frustration towards the gutless operations of a major corporation – especially one that’s preparing for the Christmas rush.
Not only does her discontent break my heart because she has to put up with this shit, but it also keeps a constant flame under my white ass because I want to be THE man that can provide for her – and hopefully make enough money so she can leave her job by the end of the year, which is a goal of ours.
Where’s your head at?
Over the last month or so I’ve been feeling a strange combination of depression and desperation, fueled by an abnormal, almost mutated drive to succeed online. The desperation causes me to not sleep and spend 12-16 hours a day sitting on this lap top. The depression hinders my focus and ability to stay motivated when things don’t work as planned – like my latest site flip. The drive is something that I’m used to, especially when I have my back against the wall with nowhere to run.
Am I afraid of failure? Absolutely terrified. Am I dreading the thought of having to get another pointless job, and not being able to work for myself? Every single day. Would an immediate financial boost improve my current situation? Probably. This is where the thought of selling TheAtHomeCouple.com makes it’s entrance.
I was unable to sleep last night, and stayed awake until Veronica left for work at 7 am this morning. The thought of cashing out on all my hard work for a quick money fix was haunting me beyond belief. I began to think about how much this site would be worth on the market, and what I could allocate that extra money towards. I began to think of how much weight it would take off Veronica’s shoulders, and enable her to put some money aside for herself – which she hasn’t done in months, as well as my responsibilities being the man in our relationship, and the deeply rooted pride that is commonly associated with that role. I then asked myself a simple question that really helped open up my tired eyes:
Would selling this blog solve our current financial needs and increase the chances of us accomplishing our long term goals in life, and online?
Fuck no. Cashing out on this blog would be the biggest sell out move I’ve ever pulled in my 27 years. This blog is a symbol of the very goal we are trying to achieve, and not only would I loose the respect of my peers, which is everything to me, but I can almost guarantee that the new owner(s) would not have an easy time filling my blood soaked shoes. I woke up today around 5 pm, ashamed at the thoughts that were racing through my brain. I immediately felt a need to email every single subscriber we have and tell you how much we love you, and want you to succeed. How much your struggles and triumphs keep us going, and knowing that we’re not alone in this vast, cold world online makes all the difference. I realized how many amazing people I’ve met, and great friends I’ve made – and I could NEVER put a price tag on that.
Note: I just received an email from an Affiliate Manager at affnet.com, saying he’s been researching our site, loves what we’re doing and would like to talk about advertising on our site and other business opportunities. Ironic, considering what I was just finished writing about.